Uhm . . . you know how much I love Doctor Who, but it’s these corny, singsongy, child-centric, heart-stringy episodes that I just can’t buy into. No matter how badly the Whoverse wants me to.

*Exception to the rule: That terrific Christmas episode, The Widow and the Wardrobe. I loved the h*ll out of that epi, even though the end got swamped in enough Mommy-knows-best sentimentality to sink the Titanic. The beginning where the Doctor introduces himself (and the house) to the children was awesome enough to overcome anything that came after.

But this “Rings of Akhaten” thing had far more in common with the lacklustre “Curse of the Black Spot” from season 6 Part 1 — sentimentality, singing, children, sacrifice, blah blah blah.

These are not The Who’s finest hours, but I can see how they’re geared to make families feel good about themselves.

I guess it kind of served to give us an introduction to Clara, and how she’s fearless and brave, but I think they already established that in the “Asylum of the Daleks” episode where she hacked the Dalek super-prison and blew up the planet to save everyone. Not to mention “The Snowmen“, where she was the Victorian nanny who kicked alien ass, right?

Right?

Hello, is this thing on?

And besides, what was up with that planet-parasite-god that looked like a big, glowing jack-o-lantern?

Special FX, my ass.

I wasn’t even impressed with the Doctor’s supposed confessional-speechifying big scene at the end, crying his single tear as he detailed his woes and losses to the pumpkin god. I was, like, “Haven’t we heard all this before?”

David Tennant was the Drama Queen Doctor, and he’s long gone. So far, we’ve been given a Matt Smith Doctor that’s way more large and in charge about it all, so I’m a little disappointed that the writers seem to be trying to shove the square peg of Matt Smith back into the round hole of the Drama Queen.

Erm, I mean, David Tennant.

Less drama, more story, that’s what I say. Hopefully the next “monster on a submarine” episode will be just that. Because who can’t resist a monster on a submarine?

Me, that’s who!

*Added whine: I didn’t even quote any lines because I didn’t think there were any lines worth quoting. This is not my beautiful Doctor Who!

*Thought to ponder: Why didn’t the TARDIS let Clara back in without the Doctor? What do you think is up with that? Based on what I said in the comments here, is there a piece of The Great Intelligence that now resides in Clara, and so she’s viewed by the TARDIS as an alien threat to the Doctor?